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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (26468)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31306) - you deserved it (5373)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (5995)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46443) - you deserved it (7936)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38080) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12337) - you deserved it (47983)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39119) - you deserved it (5385)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (35982)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (8917)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (3219)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28256) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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