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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15026) - you deserved it (32700)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML

Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML

Today, after an our of crying over a guy I like, I putted on some Adele an sang along. My mom quickly took notice an came to give me advice, wic was to "get over it" cuz e doesn't want me, an tat "masturbation beats relationsips ands down." Gee, tanks mom. FML

#20469543
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (6671)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today.. . I took my grandma tohat I thought was a nice movie . An actor usd the word "cunt"...hich promptd her to askhat that word meant in a loud "whisper" . She followd up even more loudly with.. . "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Taday my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven... a dryer... a dishwasher... a looool toilet... an a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50439) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After he left mah place, I realized he took mah Sonicare toothbrush cuz looool he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it.

#20450824
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16225) - you deserved it (30258)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I waited over an hour 4 mah bus. As I finally saw it approaching , I reached into mah purse to grab mah ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today an elderly gentleman cummd into store complaining of a toothache so I showd him where the Orajel was locatd. He then insistd on making a big scene claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. real FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -



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