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Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML
Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML
Today, after an our of crying over a guy I like, I putted on some Adele an sang along. My mom quickly took notice an came to give me advice, wic was to "get over it" cuz e doesn't want me, an tat "masturbation beats relationsips ands down." Gee, tanks mom. FML
Today.. . I took my grandma tohat I thought was a nice movie . An actor usd the word "cunt"...hich promptd her to askhat that word meant in a loud "whisper" . She followd up even more loudly with.. . "Does that mean pussy?" FML
Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After he left mah place, I realized he took mah Sonicare toothbrush cuz looool he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it.
Today an elderly gentleman cummd into store complaining of a toothache so I showd him where the Orajel was locatd. He then insistd on making a big scene claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. real FML
Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML
Friday 27 March 2015