Sunday 13 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (5168)
On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (6137)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (1731)
On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (2528)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (3170)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (2820)
Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (4692)
On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21322) - you deserved it (3352)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3440)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (3709)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (3681)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (6189)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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