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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (7766)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3702)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (4902)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (41898)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18297) - you deserved it (36853)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (3577)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (2684)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States



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