Saturday 12 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12306) - you deserved it (23699)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (6051)
On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (4687)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40343) - you deserved it (1760)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (1872)
Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3723)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (2372)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (2074)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (18583)
On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (10436)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (30309)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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