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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3806)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47213) - you deserved it (2757)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31111) - you deserved it (12078)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39259) - you deserved it (7097)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (2138)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (4987)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (3395)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3702)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (4911)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14815) - you deserved it (41899)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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