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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (2489)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33595) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (3286)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (9342)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (6701)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (2964)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (38399)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (4059)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States



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