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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today mah boyfriend and I decidd to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets . Surprisingly it workd and he lastd 3 times longer than usual . I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex . FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5991)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

TODAY, I WAS ASKD OUT BY A FRIEND OF MINE. HE'S A DOCTOR AND WORKS AT A PRESTIGIOUS HOSPITAL, SO THINKING WE WOULD EAT SOMEWHERE SPECIAL, I GOT ALL DRESSD UP. WE ENDD UP EATING AT HIS HOSPITAL'S CAFETERIA, BECAUSE HE GETS A SMALL EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. FML

#20453732
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (7006)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

YESTERDAY I GOT GENUINELY ANNOYED AT MYSELF WHEN I REALISED I PROBABLY LACK THE SKILLS TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (29896)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

TODAY... I LAARNAD MA NAIGBOR CAN ACCASS MA WIRALASS PRINTAR FROM IS OUSA AFTAR IT STARTAD PRINTING OFF PICTURAS OF WAT I'M ASSUMING IS IS PANIS. MAGA FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (7190)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to mah relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and mah new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (42703)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

TODAY , MAH HUSBAND SUGGESTD A WAY FIR US TO "MAKE SOME MONEY" OFF OUR PREGNANCY. HIS GREAT IDEA? PREGNANCY PORN. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I'm Too "high Maintenance". And That's Because I Ask Him To Use Condoms When We Have Sex, An I Refuse To Invite Mah Friends Over Fir Threesomes. I Don't Know Why I'm Not Actually Glad We Are Broken Up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)



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