Thursday 10 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (4192)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (6692)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)
Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (8110)
On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9523) - you deserved it (25997)
On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (1916)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1833)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (2659)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (3295)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4298)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (1883)
Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2253)
On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (5780)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13354) - you deserved it (26197)
On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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