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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today , my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment , andhen she hered it , she exclaimed , ( Hey my daddy can sound just lyk you! Show him daddy! Show him! ) FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (40683)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddie drag his nearly-comatose carcas back home from a strip club!! FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (4520)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today , I realizd my girlfriend makes the same exact noise in bd and when she eats!! I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover!! mega FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (34069)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

2day I found out that I was pragnant an sant a pictura of tha positiva tast to mah boyfriand. Bafora I got a taxt back from him, I got his nawly updatd Facabook status that raad "This has got to ba tha most daprassing day of mah lifa." raal FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (6684)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41997) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today , I got frd from mah job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (9388)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been struggling with English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate . This is because mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her . FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (2642)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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