Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (4872)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (6405)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50862) - you deserved it (8508)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (1716)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55688) - you deserved it (4231)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (8775)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45410) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (4967)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: