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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Taday mah friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to mah friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

2day I overeard my moter telling my sister tat se expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently , I ave no concept of wat "marriage" really means. My usband and I just celebrated our 7t anniversary , wile my moter is planning er 5t wedding. FML

#20438192
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I CAUGT MY BOYFRIEND WEREING YOGA PANTS AN TAKING PICTURE OF IS BUTT TO POST ON A ( GRLS IN YOGA PANTS ) SITE. HE SAW MY EXPRESSION AN SAID, ( NA, IT'S COOL, I ID MY JUNK SO TEY'LL TINK IT'S A CICK! ) FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

my dad was elping me move stuff out. I'd askd boyfriend to deal wit sex toys and lingerie, but still dad sowd up later at new place, andd me a box full of tem all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (36566)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache!! FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at four-year-old daughter's insistence, I lookd 4 - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (10157)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

I took mah boyfriend to meet mah parents. As he was loading his truck I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet and so the frst thing mah mom said to mah boyfriend was ( You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up. ) FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in the elevator,hen a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sighthere I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)



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