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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (7327)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (5975)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (6013)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (3571)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49524) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33886) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (3879)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47347) - you deserved it (5301)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36069) - you deserved it (6501)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54615) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (8589)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)



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