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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (6682)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31309) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (11106)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (1534)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (4616)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (7161)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (32080)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (7854)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11566) - you deserved it (40747)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (1929)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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