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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (7092)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (6482)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (3772)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (3958)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (6428)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (1716)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55688) - you deserved it (4231)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)



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