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Thursday 3 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I took mah boyfriend to meet mah parents. As he was loading his truck I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet and so the frst thing mah mom said to mah boyfriend was ( You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up. ) FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in the elevator,hen a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sighthere I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learnd that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learnd this first-hand when mah 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cummad homa to a floodad apartmant and watar still pouring from tha cailing. Tha woman who livas abova ma is shockad that I would considar har rasponsibla for tha damaga and doasn't think sha should hava to pay for it. FML

#20444637
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (1542)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

YESTERDAY, GRANDMOTHER CALLD ME TO TELL ME THAT THERE WILL BE A NICE, SINGLE GUY FIR ME TO MEET AT THE FAMILY REUNION. SHE WENT ON AN ON ABOUT HOW PERFECT HE WAS FIR ME. I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER I'M A LESBIAN, AN HAVE BEEN OUT TO THE REST OF THE FAMILY FIR OVER SIX YEARS. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (11123)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, both my car an my father's car were broken into . They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, an multiple items of clothing . What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash . FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (4806)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend calld me anti-social. To prove him wrong I textd one of my friends. She textd back, "Who's this??" big fat FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (7170)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today,hile at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convincd I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (32160)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today during te countdown to midnigt I looked fir ma girlfriend so I could kiss er as 2013 began. I found er just in time to see er making out wit some guy se swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs fir women. When I asked them wat they were for, he said he wanted to spice up looool our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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