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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today , I got frd from mah job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (9388)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4547)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a fight with mah boyfriend over a grl he is close to. He later arrivd with flowers fir what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were fir her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (6593)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today.. . ma boyfriand took ma to is ousa an introducad ma to is parants . Ha also sowad ma around is badroom . I tink a forgot to ramova ta dartboard on is wall.. . tapad toic was a swiss-caasad printout of ona of ma Facabook potos . maga FML

#20434714
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (3556)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

today I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. looool And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I'm Too "high Maintenance". And That's Because I Ask Him To Use Condoms When We Have Sex, An I Refuse To Invite Mah Friends Over Fir Threesomes. I Don't Know Why I'm Not Actually Glad We Are Broken Up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, mah husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I pausd the movie mah grlfriend an I were watching an told her, 4 the frst time, that I lovd her. Her response was to stare at me silently 4 a few seconds before unpausing the film. mega FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (6484)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday 24-year-old brother again yelld at me for looking at himhile he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open , an if the bathroom wasn't drectly opposite bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (3279)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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