Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3591)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (30011)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (5412)
On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (1649)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2271)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16569) - you deserved it (786)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (22229)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (17033)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (3022)
On 12/27/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by youfuckingdumbassmum (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (1233)
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (2218)
On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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