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Saturday 29 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (35231)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (7992)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (7179)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (3208)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45732) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35769) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (3888)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (6220)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46270) - you deserved it (3316)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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