Friday 28 December 2012 
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Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21113) - you deserved it (1840)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (3859)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (6508)
On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28789) - you deserved it (3224)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (4355)
On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19390) - you deserved it (4101)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (2193)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6836) - you deserved it (34401)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3595)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (30093)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28743) - you deserved it (5419)
On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (1651)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (2272)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -
Monday 17 June 2013
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