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Friday 28 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (25256)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

2day I overeard my moter telling my sister tat se expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently , I ave no concept of wat "marriage" really means. My usband and I just celebrated our 7t anniversary , wile my moter is planning er 5t wedding. FML

#20438192
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today... my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinnerhile his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bedhile he did the dishes...hen the bedroom door looool dramatically swung open and his mom glard at me from the doorway. I had to leavehen she screamd ( FORNICATION IS A SIN! ) FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (3690)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today , a grl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me cuz I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life , but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. fat FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache!! FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today , I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin , you could hear a pin drop , an I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. mega FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (2444)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, at four-year-old daughter's insistence, I lookd 4 - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (10157)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today... I got a phona call from mah boyfriand braaking things off with ma. Ha waitad until tha day aftar Christmas cuz ha wantad all his prasants. And ha got ma nothing. fat FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44273) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today,ila trying to taka Cristmas traa down, I laarnad tat at soma point during ta last faw waaks, it bacama oma to a colony of graan ants. I'm looool now covarad in bitas and tarrifiad to go anywara naar it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learnd that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learnd this first-hand when mah 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)



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