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Thursday 27 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36721) - you deserved it (8090)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (10305)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

#20425327
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11116) - you deserved it (38453)

On 12/27/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by ashprove611 - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15619) - you deserved it (11894)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

#20440980
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (1327)

On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (9856)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (6325)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (23911)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45183) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (4395)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States



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