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Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (9105)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (4494)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13025) - you deserved it (32697)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (7070)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13959) - you deserved it (69116)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (6404)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (3008)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33507) - you deserved it (8081)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (8268)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (8165)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France



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