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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (69026)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (4491)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (32675)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (7063)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML

#20409563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (6398)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (3005)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33465) - you deserved it (8076)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (8164)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (10145)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8725) - you deserved it (58449)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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