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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (7829)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I woke up looool to fine my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (9673)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today ouse was broken into. Te cop tat cummed turned out to be a guy I fougt over a grl wit in ig scool. He sneered and said tat everyting appereed to be in order and tat I probably ransacked own ouse. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (8634)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today after nearly a week of awful pain in my rigt lung I finally went to see a doctor about it. Wen I mentiond my istory of lung problems an suggestd it could be pneumonia e told me to "leave te diagnosing to te professionals" an endd up claiming I ave acid reflux. mega FML

#20411951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Taday after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up mah portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell mah parents, only for mah brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into mah face. I now have a huge gash over mah cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (4028)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get looool a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, ( Because he's not real, dumbass! ) FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today , I confronted 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal , considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear , it doesn't. real FML

#20414355
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (5561)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball!! I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight!! I'm still trying to figure out what happened!! FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today , I woke up to fine piece of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (3546)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (14280)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO MY FIANCÉ THAT HAVING ME WATCH HIM JERK OFF OVER A PORNO IS NOT IN FACT CONSIDERED FOREPLAY . MEGA FML

#20409320
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (11119)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Yesterday, my friend putted my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped recieving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, ( Here's yur son, yur AA meeting's in an hour, let's go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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