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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (7899)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (5459)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (25684)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (1718)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (44522)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (313)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27564) - you deserved it (3154)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (779)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (32191)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (387)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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