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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (7877)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35701) - you deserved it (17878)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4550)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (4212)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52231) - you deserved it (6566)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (7917)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (26390)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (4501)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (2884)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (14588)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (4021)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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