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Sunday 16 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (7022)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (35128)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (7560)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (38479)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (3953)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39667) - you deserved it (4488)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (26109)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (7687)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (17707)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9843) - you deserved it (63137)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (8359)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (2116)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)



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