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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (13119)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1031)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14268) - you deserved it (2950)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (11923)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (1976)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (3297)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (9735)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (1418)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (1766)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

#20402048
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4602) - you deserved it (34517)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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