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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (16352)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (4788)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24013) - you deserved it (8176)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13825) - you deserved it (34397)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35902) - you deserved it (3888)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12574) - you deserved it (25459)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (17331)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (62133)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (6069)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (1830)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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