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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34643) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (4319)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (1542)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (7852)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (4707)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (22984)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12517) - you deserved it (32045)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20619) - you deserved it (16302)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4501)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13060) - you deserved it (32763)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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