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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (14788)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (6098)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (23887)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (4049)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (7816)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (6168)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32527) - you deserved it (1890)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (8011)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (4571)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (4485)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (8356)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)



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