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Tuesday 11 December 2012

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Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

by RabbitOfAurora / 12/12/2012 at 10:56am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Holidays

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

by slenderman908 / 12/10/2012 at 6:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

by Alec / 12/10/2012 at 2:01am / United States / Transportation

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

by Katie / 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

by I said whaat / 12/18/2012 at 11:50am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

by ghost? / 12/16/2012 at 3:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

by JPPUDLY / 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous