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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (1554)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (15285)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (4351)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (6403)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (4520)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (1867)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (7595)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (21483)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (5018)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (3659)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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