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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25706) - you deserved it (1445)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (10691)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (4816) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (3688)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (2044)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (4135)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (1978)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (1440)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (13810)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (2885)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (2174)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States



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