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Saturday 8 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

TODAY, ONE OF THE GIRLSHO HAS MADE IT HER JOB TO RUIN MAH LIFE CORNERD ME IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL . SHE TRID TO INSULT ME, AN 4 THE FIRST TIME IN MAH LIFE I HAD A SCATHING COMEBACK . MY ELATION QUICKLY ENDEDHEN SHE VIOLENTLY SHOVD MAH FACE INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN . FML

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54403)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

2day a senile old lady cummed up to me and offered me cocolate. I noticed tat it was ex-lax, so I politely told er no. My 4-year-old daugter pused me aside and ate te ex-lax, because se tougt it was candy. I now ave a stinky cild on a 3 our bus ride, wit no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (9820)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML

Today.. . I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls.. . and why we're single . We somehow endd up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends.. . finding out that we both lyk hentai porn.. . and trading info on Japanese sex toys . FML

#20196663
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (28868)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

yesterday after two weeks of bieng grounded I was finally let out of the house by mah mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me because I got so drunk I told mah ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her . FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)



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