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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (4135)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (1978)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (1440)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (13810)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (2174)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (4432)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (4042)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (1378)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (9956)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (18606)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (1738)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)



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