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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18350) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (5808)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (3550)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (19030)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (1225)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (272)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (1462)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (1232)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13324) - you deserved it (1652)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (1483)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

#20191850
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (1324)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:35am - love - by musiciansareoneofakind (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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