Monday 3 December 2012 
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Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (1026)
On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (4359)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (3650)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16439) - you deserved it (1425)
On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (1842)
On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15780) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (9703)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13717) - you deserved it (2626)
On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (2991)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16561) - you deserved it (5808)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (19023)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (1224)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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