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Monday 3 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (3861)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (7845)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (11192)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (6285)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (1643)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (3790)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20850) - you deserved it (1449)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10879) - you deserved it (20945)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18440) - you deserved it (5185)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)



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