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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (4109)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (4166)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (6782)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (8314)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (22520)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (4800)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (4514)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (4082)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (3813)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (1580)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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