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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10875) - you deserved it (35681)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42945) - you deserved it (6710)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (3155)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (2701)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5124) - you deserved it (73748)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6334) - you deserved it (36760)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (7853)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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