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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (8799)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (1564)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (4612)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (4758)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2579)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (2284)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML



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