Friday 30 November 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4310) - you deserved it (29140)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11942) - you deserved it (2871)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2518)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12635) - you deserved it (2740)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8295) - you deserved it (10147)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8269) - you deserved it (24106)
On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16680) - you deserved it (8752)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (2404)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13331) - you deserved it (1865)
On 11/29/2012 at 9:45am - misc - by pdin222 (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3753) - you deserved it (63118)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16109) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13828) - you deserved it (3093)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
