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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7923) - you deserved it (31537)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (3074)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (1807)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2736)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (3977)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (1990)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (1703)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (3990)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (3080)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (1911)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (2010)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States



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