Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day I finally summonad tha couraga to ask my dad to pay ma as ha promisad, aftar I cut tha lawn an claanad all tha housa windows last waak. His rasponsa was, ( Gat fuckad. ) FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5504) - you deserved it (76153)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today... I followed mah neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on mah Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to fine mah Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6358) - you deserved it (36928)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or heres something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I want to Hollistar with mah grandmothar . Sha immadiataly startad yalling about tha music baing too loud , and ordarad tha staff to "shut tha damn thing off" . Sha was yalling at a bunch of mannaquins . FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I ran across te street due to a line of cars waiting fir me to cross. Just as I reaced te oter side, my iPone slipped out of my and an fell into te road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after te oter. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today...hile Getting A Hernia Exam.!! !! I Accidentally Ran Mah Fingers Through Mah Doctor's Hair !! FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (8127)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today.. . it's my 21st brtday and my dad as decided to take away my ID in fear tat if I ave even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoolic . mega FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of mah shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is mah favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing mah own boobs because they smelled like mah ex-boyfriend. FML

Taday I thought I felt something itch mah butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just mah imagination, I did mah business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (4189)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

TODAY, MAH 5 KIDS WERE SINGING THIER FAVORITE CHRISTMA CAROL IN THE VAN, EACH TRYING TO SING LOUDER THAN THE OTHERS. IT WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SOUNDED BETTER IF THEY WERE ALL SINGING THE SAME ONE. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: