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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today,hile I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this ishere all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left.

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I ran into mah high school crush at Target. When I askd her if she rememberd me, she pattd me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," an walkd away. mega FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today , I was woken up by my elderly nieghbor banging on my door at 2am . She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off . I'd just fallen asleep . mega FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19208) - you deserved it (1465)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I brought a boy over to mah house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swoopd in and bombardd him with questions about his and mah sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (1914)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at mah boyfriend's househen I got a call from mah parents . They told me to come home immediately . Panicking, I rushd home . My dad pulld out a clear tube filld with drid leaves . They accusd me of having marijuana . It was catnip fir mah kitten . FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (1808)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, to scare mah little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies!! The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs!! Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room!! FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8335) - you deserved it (24816)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (28193)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY WHILE VISITING WIDOWED GREAT AUNT, SHE TOOK OUT HER WEDDING RINGS AND TALKED ABOUT THE LOVE SHE AND UNCLE HAD. SMILING, I TOLD HER THAT ONE DAY I HOPE TO HAVE AS HAPPY A MARRIAGE AS THIERS. HER RESPONSE? "KNOWING YOU, I WOULDN'T COUNT ON IT." MY MOTHER SAT THERE AGREIENG. FML

#20189035
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20148) - you deserved it (2146)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday , after doing inventory at my job , I was approachd by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute!! I trid talking to her , but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker!! Now she assumes that I'm ( special )!! FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19414) - you deserved it (2035)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

yesterday I was waiting in a doctor's officeen I was approaced by an elderly woman. Se told me all about te ripping of er stitces in a very private place, in exaustive detail. Of course, today was te day my doctor cose to be an our late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18256) - you deserved it (1328)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walkd into school confidant about tha naw hair color I'd had dona ovar tha waakand. My drama taachar apparantly dyd har hair tha sama color; avaryona noticd an thought I'd copid har. FML

#20190350
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (2008)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I mat up with a faw old friands 4 soma wina an munchias. Tha main topics of convarsation wara colonoscopias... lactosa intolaranca an spacific symptoms of irritabla bowal syndroma. I'm slaaping ovar at ona of thair housas. Only 20 mora hours to go. FML

#20184451
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16492) - you deserved it (2265)

On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada



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