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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke!! He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids"!! How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

2day mah boyfriend dumpd me by throwing mah stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I trid explaining that I have no clue wat he's talking about, he startd exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants looool on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of local groceries store 4 employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicappd, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10929) - you deserved it (29086)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's our thrd anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, cuz "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turnd on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

2day I finally summonad tha couraga to ask my dad to pay ma as ha promisad, aftar I cut tha lawn an claanad all tha housa windows last waak. His rasponsa was, ( Gat fuckad. ) FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I followed mah neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on mah Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to fine mah Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6358) - you deserved it (36928)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or heres something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I want to Hollistar with mah grandmothar . Sha immadiataly startad yalling about tha music baing too loud , and ordarad tha staff to "shut tha damn thing off" . Sha was yalling at a bunch of mannaquins . FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I ran across te street due to a line of cars waiting fir me to cross. Just as I reaced te oter side, my iPone slipped out of my and an fell into te road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after te oter. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today...hile Getting A Hernia Exam.!! !! I Accidentally Ran Mah Fingers Through Mah Doctor's Hair !! FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (8127)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today.. . it's my 21st brtday and my dad as decided to take away my ID in fear tat if I ave even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoolic . mega FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States



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