Monday 26 November 2012 
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Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (1255)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5223) - you deserved it (10746)
On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13164) - you deserved it (1675)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (1189)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14192) - you deserved it (967)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia
Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14058) - you deserved it (5650)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17226) - you deserved it (1059)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15117) - you deserved it (2020)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (17972)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (1366)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (19360)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (1389)
On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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