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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (6861)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2476)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (1408)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (2150)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10013) - you deserved it (26702)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (1943)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19395) - you deserved it (7977)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (4281)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (1361)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (4602)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (17148)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (1427)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States



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